This is more for me than for any of you, but I thought I should post it here so I can refer back to it later, and maybe even learn something new by writing down the old. Plus, maybe I'll get some kind-hearted, tried-and-true tips from other parents? (hint-hint;)
In an effort to figure out my strongly stubborn daughter, I want to make a list of things that I've learned work well with her, but can't exactly recall on our hardest of days (why is that?). So here's a list of them, in no particular order:
-The power of choice: if it's okay for her to decide about something, then by all means, let her decide!
-Give her responsibilities so she feels like Mommy's Big Helper.
-One-on-one time with her on a regular basis is vital. Make sure many of these are very silly!
-She gets cranky when hungry and/or tired. Just be prepared.
-Although it takes much more effort, a happy-go-lucky tone works so much better than a you're-in-trouble-missy tone
-Routines help her feel more in control
-Her temper is a mirror of my own. She learns how to deal with frustration from watching me, so set a good example, would ya Hil?
-Discipline immediately after the offense, have the punishment fit the crime, follow through, consistency, yada yada yada. (it's getting late and I can't remember anything else)
I know these sound pretty basic to you all, but they were hard ones for us to learn. I'm ashamed to admit how crazy it's gotten, but feel like I need to announce it so we can build a support system. Great, now she sounds like such a monster child, and she's not. We love her and are so glad to have her. Our lives seriously wouldn't be the same. She's such a great big sister to her siblings and (usually) loves to take care of them. She is always so honest with us. I'm amazed at how at just 4 years of age she can explain her feelings so well and get to the root of what's really bothering her. I know adults that can't do that. And by golly is she smart! She remembers practically everything that is told to her (we just wonder what she repeats back to her Primary teachers;). We love her dearly and that is why we are working so hard to be good parents for her.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I'm probably not making much sense anyway because of the hour.
(By the way Megan, the chart idea for her "accidents" problem worked like a charm! We hardly have to use the chart, because the threat of taking stickers off if she makes a mess was enough. Thanks!)